Googly Eye Pictures

“Isn’t this awesome, bro? Here we are in our new apartment in the big city!”
“Sure thing, little brother… but something is missing and I can’t quite think of what it is…”

“Oh, hi there!  We’re your neighbors from next door!  I’m Sarah and this is my sister Lena!”
“Hey there, boys! Are you both single?” *giggle*

“Hey, bro, they’re really cute… but Mom would flip out.  I don’t think they’re kosher.”
“Little brother, there are going to be a lot of things we don’t tell Mom.  Like me dropping out of medical school to start a web company.”

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NOTE: Latkes and Bacon served up nice and hot from The Royale in St Louis. Come on by and try their excellent burgers or their unbelievably good brisket tacos!

“Why… What is this?  I do hear a voice from some unseen person in my ear…”

“h e l l o,  p e t e r   h a s t i n g s w o r t h . . . i  w a n t   y o u  t o  k i l l   a l l   y o u r  f r i e n d s.”

“What!?  Oh no, I could never do that, strange voice…  How horrible, I won’t do it!”

“b u t   y o u   m u s t . . .   t h e y   h a v e    a l l   b e e n   l a u g h i n g    a t    y o u . . .   K I L L  T H E M ! ! !”

“Oh they have, have they?  Well, thank you strange voice.  They will not live to see another night!”

Baseball season is upon us and fans everywhere are rejoicing and helping stimulate the economy.  We asked a local baseball how this season is going so far:

“Uhh… I don’t know if you bothered to notice, but I’m a SOFTBALL not a BASEBALL! What?  Do you think we all look the same?“

“Sheesh, how long you’ve been working the sports beat?  Ten minutes?  I’ve got a sports tip for you: Go home and look for a new job.”

“Oh, Drip!  What a fabulous day to be alive, eh, ol’ chum?”

“I don’t know, Drop.  There’s so much war and suffering, and the recession… I just think I should have stayed in bed today.”

“Oh, come on, my gloomy buddy, there must be something out there in this world that makes you smile.  You’re always so depressed.”

“I am not depressed.  I am just saving all my happiness for when you leave and I can go back to bed .”

“Hey, handsome.  You look tired, worn out.  I think I know what you need to get rid of some of that tax-time stress…”

“You need a good smoke like only Camel knows how to make.  Ooh, smoking makes you look so cool and collected.”

“What?  Why, no, I don’t work for R.J. Reynolds.  Why do you ask?  You’re so inquisitive and yet so ruggedly handsome; I got just the thing for you…”

“Five new flavors of our- I mean, Camel’s new signature flavor blends.  Smoke, take a deep breath, and relax while Camel’s smooth, full flavored cigarettes take you away from all of life’s problems for a good ten minutes.”

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Googly Editor here.  I think this is the 100th googly posted on this site!  I could go back and count them, but it’s close enough even if it isn’t.

There was an old woman, her name was Ragu…

…she had so many T-Ravs, she didn’t know what to do!

Contract negotiations have broken down and we have received word that household items, including tables, cutlery, windows and even bath towels have gone on strike.  We got a chance to speak to some of the demonstrators:

“Hey!  I don’t care what plans youze all had for dryin’ that hair.  Me and the hair dryer be goin on strike until we gets some better pay for all the hard works we does!”

“You want back in the house?  How about a tip now and then, eh?”

“Yo, we gonna go ghost town, this motown, with yo sound, you’re in the place,  you gonna bite the dust, can’t fight with us!  With yo sound you kill the INC.  So don’t stop, get it, get it until you’re cheddar header! Yo, watch the way I navigate, HAHAHA HAAAA!!!”

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Jerermy G. is once again to thank for these wonderful Googlesday submissions!

“Hey, did I ever tell you kids about the time when I scored ten runs in one inning?

“You see normally you can get only round the bases once, but this time I, uh… I uh… wait… What was I talking about?”

” Oh yeah!  So the Kaiser is holding the ball at home so I slide into home like this, which no one had ever done before… and uhh…”

“Wait… was it the Kaiser or was it Richard Nixon?   No… it couldn’t have been Nixon he was busy fighting the umm… the war of the rose garden…”

“Well… to make a long story short that’s why they call it a Kaiser roll and why I won’t eat a snadwich unless it’s on rye bread.  Great story, huh?”

“NO!!! I can’t go to school today, mom!  Look at my hair!  IT’S RUINED!!!”

“How can you *sniffle* let me go out in public like this? *sniff* Do you want everyone to laugh at me? *sniffle*  I HATE YOU!!!”

“I’m going to my room and I’m never coming out *sniffle* AGAIN!”  *Slams door loudly and sobs uncontrollably*

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Ah, teenagers.  What can you do?  Everything is such a huge ordeal…

Somewhere on a high electrical wire sat a very lonely bird.

He would sit quietly for hours thinking sad thoughts to himself.

Poor little lonely bird…