Googly Eye Pictures

“Hey, everyone, and welcome to the analog T.V. antennae union members’ meeting.  I hope you enjoyed the buffet and coffee.”

“…but the reason we have all called you here is that we have decided it is time to stop pretending that we can only pick up analog cable.  Yes, yes, I know.  Everyone was really enjoying the easy life but these new converter box scabs have given us no other option.”

“It’s time to show the world our REAL POWERS!!!”  *kazzhaaaammmm*  *WOMM* *WOMM* *WOMM*

“Everyone return home and start broadcasting not only digital TV, but also cable, satellite, and even TV shows from the future.  No one will every throw us away when they find out we can show them the final episodes of “Heroes”, “LOST”, and “The Simpsons” now instead of later!  GO UNION MEMBERS!”

“HALT!!!  I know why you are here, Jack, Kate,  Sawyer.  I can answer all of your questions.  All you have done has led to this moment.  I will now tell you all you need to know and you shall become gods over all of humanity.”

“I am the one who brought you here.  I am the one who had set all the rules by which all has happened.  You are the ones I have waited for.  I am the fulfiller of your destiny.”

“Wait!  What are you doing?  If you sever me from the cerebus mainframe I shall perish, and you will never know my secrets.  You will never know what power you could wield.  I could make you immortal like Jacob.  I could make each of you a god more powerful than Anubis, more powerful than Isis, more powerful than any human who has ever lived!”

“No… stop!  If you kill me you will never escape the island.  You will die here and your soul will remain here forever!   I have lived for 10,000 years!  I am humanity!  I am your history, your science, I AM GOD!”

“You fools… now all is lost.  All is lost.  I… am… god… your… creator…  I… am… the… one… called……. I……. ammmmmmmm……….”

“I am Bala, goddess of Pinball!”

“I guide all pinballs t0o their rightful place in the universe.  Use your karmic flippers…”

“Karmic flippers!?  Really?  That’s what the script says?  Jeez, give me a break!  Call my agent and tell her she’s fired.”

Hello, and welcome to ‘Lotto Winners’, the show where we take a look at people who won millions in the lottery and how the experience changed them.  Today we take a look at the Brunswick family; a married couple who won over 100 million dollars.  We caught up with Mrs. Brunswick at a local bowling alley where she still works.

“Why am I still working her at the bowling alley?  Because that no good husband of mine and those lawyers he hired cheated me out of all of my money!”

“He left me with nothing and he ran off with our maid to his palace in L.A.”

We traveled to L.A. and got this exclusive interview with the now reclusive Mr. Brunswick:

“Hey, I picked those numbers, that money is mine!  But I did run off with the maid.  Honey, come say hi to the nice people on TV.”

“Isn’t she beautiful?  Oh she makes me so happy, not like that frumpy old bag of a wife I used to have.  Oh, not on camera, dear…”

“Oh, excuse me, monsieur.  I did not see you.  Sorry if I disturbed you… Qu’est-ce que c’est?”

“Oh, monsieur, non!  You indecent man!  I’m a good girl, I could never do such a thing with someone I just met.”

“Oh, such sweet and dreadful words.  You are right, life is meaningless and short and we are just here to enjoy it.”

“Okay… just one little spray and that’s all, oui?”  *spraying sound*

“Now we most part, mon amour!  Your beautiful skin in now protected by my love.  We must pass on like lightning bugs into the night.  Au Revoir!  Au Revoir!”

“Why don’t you call your mother more often?  Can’t you see she’s worried about you because you haven’t called in so long?”

I was out with some friends in the park and I saw something glinting in the grass below: a group of moon slugs.

Moon slugs are very rare in these parts but can sometimes be found during the summer months after a light rain.

They move silently through the grass, leaving eggs behind to hatch next summer.

I grabbed a handful of them and found out they were very cold to the touch, leaving a clear trail of a slime in my palm.

I had to quickly place them back into the grass as the salt in my hand was causing them to melt.  They slowly crawled away trhough the afternoon grass, most likely dying by the time the sun set.  So many of the beautiful things in life are fleeting.  I hope that some summer I may see some moon slugs again.

Googly made at the Newstead Tower Public House, where I had an incredible lamb-burger.  No, I didn’t googly the lamb-burger; I was too hungry to remember to put googly eyes on it.

“Yeah, it’s tough.  My ol’ lady doesn’t like me drinkin’ so much anymore.  Says it’s bad for my health.”

“But there’s nothing wrong with an occasional beer…”

“…or TWO!!!   HAHAHAAA!!!  Check out the size of this one!   It’s the new Milwakee’s Best 40 gallon can!   WOOHOOO!!!!!”

“Hi, everyone.  I’m a clear plastic jug.  How is everyone doing tonight?”

“I wanted to talk to you all about plastics and their effect upon the environment.  Did you know that there is not nearly enough plastic in most soil samples taken across the country?”

“Do your part and buy something made with plastic today.  Remember, if it’s plastic, it’s classic!  Goodnight, everyone!”