“Ah, life!  It burns in us as it burns us away!  Life and death, they are the same, no?”

“My friends lie here.  They were once alive like me.  We all must one day lie crumpled and smoldering like them.  For to live, is to die!”

“And I too must now dance the dance of death.  Was my life a good one or a bad one?  It matters not; It was a life, and that is all.   Now turn into sweet ash for all of eternity!  Such is life!  Au Revoir!”

“Behold!  I am Bootlemane, King of All Bottles!”

“As my first decree as King of All Bottles I… do decree that… umm…”

“Huh… you know, I’m not even sure what a decree is…”

“Excuse me, loyal subject.  Do you happen to know what a decree is?  No?  You Sure?  Okay…”

“Umm… I, Bootlemane, have decreed that there shalt be no decree for today!  Thank you.  You can all go back to being bottles for now.”

Woah!  Some major grouchiness going on here!  Oscar would be proud.  Let’s zoom in on the Grouch-o-Scope:

Yikes!  Very grouchy indeed.

“What a beautiful day, eh, honey?  Makes you glad to be alive!”

“Yeah, I suppose…”

“Huh?  Is something wrong?  Are you upset about something?”

“Yeah, I suppose…”

“Well, can you tell me what’s wrong or are you going to just sit there and be despondent all day?”

“Yeah, I suppose…”

“MEDIC!!!!!”

Sure, the knife and the spoon were living it up now, but the dish knew that someday they’d be together.   Destiny, the stuff of fairy tales.

“Girls, listen up.  I have some terrible news…”

“I am sorry to report that attendance to our ballet show has grown so low we may have to disband the group.”

“What?”

“Merciful Heavens!  What will we do?  I don’t want to become a waitress again!”

“How did this happen?”

“Well, it seems not enough people are going out to live performances and are instead staying at home and watching TV and DVDs and Googling things…”

SUPPORT LOCAL LIVE PERFORMANCES AND SEE A SHOW THIS WEEK

NOTE:  Seriously.  Go out and see a live show.  I am certain there are plenty of wonderful live performances of all sorts of varieties in your area.  Turn off your TV and go see one.

– Googly Editor

“Why don’t you call your mother more often?  Can’t you see she’s worried about you because you haven’t called in so long?”

As she peered wistfully through her flowing green bangs, Lady Veronica sighed as the man she loved rode off with his new bride.  “Someday”,  she thought, “Someday she’ll do him wrong and he’ll be mine”.