“TOOKAHDOOO!!!  What are you doing here!?  You’re not supposed to be in this dimension!  How did you get here?”

“You gotta go back right now or else who knows what will happen?  DOOKDAHDOOO!!!!  Get back in that weird metal thing you came in here on and never come back!”

“Okay… I don’t know what you just did, but please undo it… NOW!!!”

A rarely seen site, this school of Leaf Fish are making their way upstream to spawn.

The thin, verdant fish are neither plant nor animal, but a mysterious hybrid scientists are still trying to understand.

Evidence of a divine creator, or perhaps just a quick of evolution man does not yet understand?  Either way they are a beautiful site to behold and bring a sense of wonder to all who gaze upon their leafy fishiness.

Amazing discovery at the Hartford Coffee Company in St. Louis!  An alien life form had been living in their midst for potentially years without notice!

We got a chance to talk to this alien today to find out why he is here and what his plans are for humanity!  “Mr. Alien!  What message can have you brought to us from your home planet?”

“What?  I do not have any sort of message.  I’m just here for the bottomless cups of coffee and excellent made to order food and friendly staff.  Come on by next week for Open Mic Night and you can see me my acoustic guitar performance.   I’ve been learning how to play ‘Free Bird’.”

Once upon a time, there was a magical brick who could think and see and talk like a human being.  Long ago a magician who had been drinking gave life to the brick, who had then lived with the other non-magical bricks in a wall ever since.

But the magical brick was lonely because none of the non-magical bricks could talk and no human beings wanted to talk to a boring old brick in the wall, having better things to do.  So the brick one day wished with all his might that the adjacent bricks to him might come to life just like he had long ago.

Suddenly in a brilliant flash of light the magical brick’s wish was granted.  The other bricks began to look around and talk all day about their own opinions and dreams and beliefs.  For once the magical brick had someone to talk to.

But soon it dawned on the magical brick he had not been granted a wish, but a curse.  For you see, when human beings tire of each other they can just walk away and stop talking to someone.  The poor magical brick was now forced to listed to every single empty, meaningless, boring, vain and ignorant thing the other bricks would babble on about all day and night.  He wished with all his might that the other magical bricks might no longer be magical anymore and shut up… but alas, his second wish was never granted.

THE END

———

A special thanks to Lady Erin for helping me google the wall!

- Googly Editor

“Greetings!  I am a friendly lamp from outerspace!  I come in peace!  Please do not be alarmed as I try to land on your planet.”

“Ho ho!  So many questions you have about why I’m descending upon your soil!  Just let me land and I’ll answer all your questions in due time!”

“Uh oh!  You just shot at me with missiles and lasers!  Looks like question/answer time will have to wait until after I DESTROY ALL OF YOU!!!”

“DESTROY FIRST, TALK LATER!  NNNAAAAYGH!”

“Spade, what are you looking at?”

“I don’t know, Effie, ever think there’s something strange about our world?  Like everything we say and do is somehow preordained and described in simple words most people can’t see?”

“No.   Never.”

“Then be a good girl and get me some coffee.  I’m so tired I must be seeing things.”

“Ah, look at this specimen!  It’s a highly rare Green Breasted Laser Peacock!”

“Crickey!  We’ve startled it!  Better be careful, friends, it’s beautiful plumage can fire dangerous lasers when provoked!”

“Woah!  Looks like it’s getting ready to fire!  Let’s leave this wondrous creature alone and let it go about it’s way.   It’s a shame it has been poached nearly into extinction by DVD player manufacturers and companies that make those little laser pointer thingies cats like to play with.  Truly a remarkable creature!”

Oh!  Hi there!  Don’t mind me, I’m just a regular ol’ container full of seasoning.  Lovely day we’re having, eh?”

“Alien cyborg from the future!?  No, no.  I am not an alien cyborg hiding in your cabinet in the past.  I am full of tasty seasoning for your food.  Do you not remember buying me at the store?  I was next to the oregano.

Q’PLA!!!

“Hey, Grid-Unit-10092OA, have you ever wondered what we’re all really doing here?”

“I know exactly why you’re here, Grid-Unit-10092OB, because if you weren’t I wouldn’t be able to support Grid-Unit-100091Z and he wouldn’t be able to support Grid-Unit-100091Y.”

“No, no… I mean, why are we all in this grid?  Did we grid units always arrange ourselves in grid-like patterns?   What purpose does it serve?”

“Attention Grid-Control-Unit-Alpha-Omega, we have a free-thought alert in section 10029. “

“What did you say, Grid-Unit-10092OA?  I didn’t quite catch that…”

“Oh nothing, Grid-Unit-10092OB, just calling over some people who might be able to stop- I mean, answer your questions.”

“Ooh!  Sounds fun!”