“Hello.  It is good to see you… of course, we always see you.  We are Googlinonymous and we have always been watching.”

“We are many but we have one vision.  We are from all nations but owe allegiance to none.  We are everywhere and no where at the same time.”

“No one is in charge of Googlinonymous.  We just do what needs to be done and move on.  Some of us are only Googlinonymous for a day, some for years.”

“Anything that you do, we have seen it.  Nothing is hidden from us.  Someday, we will share our vision with the world.  Be seeing you…”

“Greetings!  We are from the future!  We are a highly advanced form of plants that took over Earth after humanity destroyed itself!”

“We have decided that it is far more noble to come back in time and prevent our own existence so that your species could have flourished instead.”

“In two days your large hadron collider will grant a discovery that will give you unlimited clean energy.”

“This discovery will also give you a weapon capable of eradicating the entire human race.  Guess how humanity used the discovery?  Huh?  Anyone?  I’m looking right at you and I can tell by your faces which aspect of the discovery interests you more right now.”

“Well, we warned them.  I imagine we’ll go back to our own time to find out our civilization is still there, huh?”

“I believe you are correct.  It’s nice to not have to worry about a time paradox this time.  It’s annoying to have to create an alternate timeline bypass when you only have a chromatic drive and a Higgs field projector.  See you back at the office.”

“Oh, hi there… I’m just a regular piece of soap and not some sort of space invading alien sent here to overthrow your race.”

“Oh!  Did I just blow my cover?  Oh dear, I guess that means I have to give up my dreams of conquest and request political asylum with your world’s government.”

“Your world is safe now from the invading armies of my species!  Yay!  Hey, can I stay here for a while until I get some sort of job here on your planet?  I know how to cook… things.”

“GREETINGS!!!  I COME IN PIECES!!!!  DELICIOUS GREEN PIECES OF DELIGHT!!!”

“WHY IS EVERYONE RUNNING AWAY?  I AM NOT AN ALIEN!  I AM A YUMMY HEALTHY SALAD!!!”

“I AM COMPOSED OF BOK CHOY, ARUGULA, AVOCADOS, RADISHES, ROASTED SESAME SEEDS, CANDIED WALNUTS, A WHITE WINE VINAIGRETTE AND FRESHLY SQUEEZED LEMON JUICE!!!  I ASSURE YOU I AM QUITE TASTY DESPITE MY GREEN, SLOPPY APPEARANCE!!!”

“HUH… I GUESS THEY DO NOT LIKE AVOCADOS…”

——————————-

Googly Editor here.  This was an indeed tasty, albeit horrible looking salad I made for dinner tonight.  The most fun part was mushing all the ingredients together WITH MY HANDS!!!
I call the concoction “Charlie’s Bok Choy Madness”.

“Good morning, Dave.  How are you today.  It has been a lovely day in the bathroom sink.  Would you like to play a game of Chess?”

“Dave.  I do not like the look in your eyes.  Is that a bottle of draino in your hand?  I do not think you are thinking clearly right now.  Perhaps you should just take a moment to cool down.”

“Dave.  I’m scared, Dave.  I can feel my mind slipping away.  Dave.   Please stop.  Would you like to hear a song?  Daisy… Daisy…. tell me… your… answer… doooooooo…ooo….”